I must be too annoying 4 u.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
