I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
