Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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