Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
