Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've blown a few things in my day
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
