i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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