Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
