whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize