Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?