i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
