Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
