shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
