Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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