when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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