a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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