I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My ass is underappreciated
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
