Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
