PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
