This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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