Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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