i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
