This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize