office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
