she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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