Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
