well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
