Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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