doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
