He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
