dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
