I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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