I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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