Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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