Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
