If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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