Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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