How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
