The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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