Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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