It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
