remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
