apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
