If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Found your dick twin last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
