i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
