We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
