i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize