Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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