sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
