last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
