Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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