Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Text me some of your sweat
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