Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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