i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
only if we run a train.
done.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
