belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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