If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
