if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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