what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize