I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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