another moral hangover. fuck.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
