Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
