Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am naked and annoyed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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