i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
