I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
