He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
