can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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