You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The dick lei will go down in squad history
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
