Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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