you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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