i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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